My Thoughts

God Bless The Broken Road.

2006-06-07T23:06:00.000-07:00

So the things that are going on with me and Daniel are slowly getting better. We both talked last week, and we know that this is going to take a long time to get this all over with, but we are going to still stay together and we are going to fight til the every end. Why? Because we are madly in love with each other, and we cant see ourselves with anyone else. So for right now until the divorce is final we are in an open realtionship because he doesnt want me to be held under a cap, and he doesnt want to feel like Im that way. We both decided that when the divorce is final we are going to go back into a comitted realtionship and go on with our plans of getting married, and having a family.
We both know how we feel for each other, and I think that in a way this is bringing us closer, and in the end we are going to be able to go through anything together. This is a hard time in both of our lives, but we both have some close friends who are helping us through this, because it showed on Saturday that he misses me, mainly because of something that happened that Im going to say:
So we both got off work, and he went on the deck with some of the other cooks, and they were drinking and eating, and I was on the other side with a few of the servers who I was friends with, and we were drinking (mind you Im the only one who isnt old enough legally), talking, and having a blast. Greg kept telling me that Daniel was watching me the entire time, so Im like...then go find out why, not thinking that he really would...boy was I wrong. So he comes back to me, and tells me...Daniel is watching you, because he misses you so badly, and he wants to be with you, but right now he cant, and he wants to make sure that you are alright. So for the next 2 hours, even though he was talking with his friends, he was watching me to make sure I was alright, and that nothing happened to me.
Im crazy in love with this boy, and its a great feeling, that even through all this, I know that he still cares for me, and wants to be with me, even though right now he legally cant. I cant wait till legally we can, because then my life will be perfect.
I know I found my Prince Charming, and its going to take some time for me to be back into his arms, but its the price that Im willing to take to be with him.....forever :)

I Hate People Out There That Love To Ruin Amazing Relationships

2006-05-26T22:20:00.000-07:00

So as some of you might know about the amazing relationship that Daniel and I have, its going to be put on hold until the divorice is final. Warning: This blog is going to be venting so if you dont care to read then dont. These are my true feelings right now.

So, as you all know this week I had my training for Bahama Breeze. Well there is this kid named Romi (Who I didnt like at first, and now I'll forever hate because of what he did) Well everyone at Bahama knows that Daniel and I were dating, and then Romi found out. He went out with Daniels Ex, and told her everything that there was. So she confronted Daniel about it, and he told her that we are just friends, but she didnt believe him, and kept calling him a fucking lair, bitch, and something else because he was with a "white" girl.

I was waiting for Daniel tonight after my shift studying yet again for another test that I have to take there. He came over and he was really quite tonight, so I asked him why he was being so quite. Then he goes "Im trying to think of a way to tell you this without hurting you" And here I thought that here it is, he found someone better, and hes going to leave me. Then he told me what Romi did, and I got so pissed, I was ready to hunt him down and kill him with my own hands. Daniel was pissed as well because now we have to be even more careful then we were before, and now since she knows what I look like, and that we work together, its going to be even harder, so here are the new rules that we have to follow:
~ limited cell phone calling..meaning I call him, leave a message, he calls me back.

~ no outside seeing each other (other then the once or twice a month that hes going to try and get)

~ no hanging out after work, unless we go somewhere and we arent that long, and he has to get out early to stay longer.

~ We can talk at work, and everything.

~ We have to make sure that around Romi we are "friends only"

And there are so many others that if I wrote them here I think that I would have a short book.

This Romi guy I didnt like before, and now I hate him....now I know why he was giving me odd looks today all during classroom, and why he was trying to do everything possible to switch his nights of working because he knew that Daniels Ex told Daniel and that we would be having this coversation.

When Daniel and I kissed goodbye I didnt want it to end. I dont know when the next time is that Im going to be able to kiss him, and other then talking on the phone the next time that Im going to see him is going to be Wensday at work. Its going to be hard to look at him and think hes not really mine, but he is, but we already said, if we can make it through this, we can make it through anything. And thats basically true, SHE is the only obsticle in our way to do everything that we talked about before, and we both cant wait for the day that those papers are going to be signed.

I dont think that he truely knows how much I love him. He is my everything, he has my heart, and without him I have no idea where I would be. I cant wait til that day when Im standing next to him, me in my wedding gown, and then every morning I can wake up next to him. I thought I knew what love was before this, and I didnt. He has shown me what love is. I have heard from my friends that we all make the "perfect couple" and I cant wait til I can be back in his arms.

I Love you Daniel Sanchez, and you are my Everything.

Love, Family and Friendships

2006-05-21T20:15:00.000-07:00

So thanks to Ash, I just made this thing, so bare with me, and Im going to make the most of it. I have Xanga, but Im going to see how I like this, and this might be my new online journal, I dont know we will see how everything is. But yeah, Ash has been here for me for everything, and he has showed me what a true friendship is. Not to mention he has been the only guy that has heard me cry on the phone, and has stayed up half the night to make sure I was alright. I am truely blessed with his friendship, and I never want to lose it.

So friendships these days are all over the place. Im really close with a lot of my friends, and this one friend is getting on my last straw. If you dont want to be my friend anymore, then just tell me, and dont go around to your friends and talk about me, because sooner or later Im going to find out about it. Your the one whos acting immature and is the one that needs to grow up, not me. Some people these days seem to act like little children and dont want to grow up. They think that as soon as they go to college that they are free, but some of them act like they are still in high school, and its pretty sad. I mean I do have my times when I like to gossip, but for the most part I think that I have matured pretty well for my age.

Some people who I live with on the other hand like to still treat me as a child. I mean there are times when I dont want to act all grown up, but I know that we all have those times. I try to do the very best that I can, but I just dont want to be here anymore, and I want to get away, but my father wont let me because he doesnt think that Im mature enough and old enough to be on my own. Im almost 20 years old, and I think that I can handle living with my friends. I mean Im hardly home as it is, and you dont see me getting in trouble on the streets. No, Im not like my brother, and Im not going to take that path, so let me be, and let me grow up on my own, and dont decided for me when its time for me to grow up.

Then there is my love...Daniel. He is everything to me and more. I couldnt have asked for a better guy to be in my life. My life was going downhill and I was about to give up on life, and thats when everything started to change. I didnt know if I was ready to date because of the relationship that I just got out of, but I though he seemed like a pretty good guy, so I might as well give it a try. The only thing I had to lose was my heart, and Ive lost it plenty of time so one more wouldnt have hurt that much. I mean there have been times that I have wondered if he is cheating, and Ill always have that feeling, but I know that deep down he doesnt have the guts to do it to me....mainly after the phone call I got when I was in New York, I know that he wouldnt but Ill always have that feeling. He has my heart though, and everytime he calls me my heart still skips a beat, and he makes my crappy days turn much better by just listening to his voice. There are so many things that he has done to me, but if I wrote them all down then Ill have a short book, so I think that I will stop now.